Animal lovers, look away now!
Disturbing? funny?
How to make more stuffed squirrels.(Link)
Scary cat.(Link)
I want to go to the same hairdresser this lion goes.(Link)
Leopard on meth.(Link)
Showing posts with label wtf?. Show all posts
Showing posts with label wtf?. Show all posts
16 Examples of Taxidermy Gone Wrong
11 Funny Book Titles
What's Your Poo Telling You?
"All the greatest hits are here: The Log Jam, The Glass Shard, The Deja Poo, The Hanging Chad... the list goes on. A floater? It's probably due to a buildup of gas. Now think back on last night's dinner, a burrito perhaps? Yep, also here."
"All the greatest hits are here: The Log Jam, The Glass Shard, The Deja Poo, The Hanging Chad... the list goes on. A floater? It's probably due to a buildup of gas. Now think back on last night's dinner, a burrito perhaps? Yep, also here."
Cunt Coloring Book
"This book contains about 25 drawings of flower-like genitalia. Each drawing is beutiful and unique - just in the same way that every woman is beautiful in a different way."
"This book contains about 25 drawings of flower-like genitalia. Each drawing is beutiful and unique - just in the same way that every woman is beautiful in a different way."
Fuckin' Concrete Contemporary Abstract Algebra Introduction
"Reading Fuckin' Abstract Algebra is a small adventure that one undertakes before doing something profoundly conventional. Probably this is the most fucked academic book, but definitely it is the best one to have fun and to learn from."
"Reading Fuckin' Abstract Algebra is a small adventure that one undertakes before doing something profoundly conventional. Probably this is the most fucked academic book, but definitely it is the best one to have fun and to learn from."
How to Good-bye Depression: If You Constrict Anus 100 Times Everyday. Malarkey? or Effective Way?
"I think constricting anus 100 times and denting navel 100 times in succession everyday is effective to good-bye depression and take back youth. You can do so at a boring meeting or in a subway. I have known 70-year-old man who has practiced it for 20 years. As a result, he has good complexion and has grown 20 years younger. His eyes sparkle. He is full of vigor, happiness and joy. He has neither complained nor born a grudge under any circumstance. Furthermore, he can make love three times in succession without drawing out."
"I think constricting anus 100 times and denting navel 100 times in succession everyday is effective to good-bye depression and take back youth. You can do so at a boring meeting or in a subway. I have known 70-year-old man who has practiced it for 20 years. As a result, he has good complexion and has grown 20 years younger. His eyes sparkle. He is full of vigor, happiness and joy. He has neither complained nor born a grudge under any circumstance. Furthermore, he can make love three times in succession without drawing out."
Zen of Farting
"No one knows much about its author, Reepah Gud Wan, who lived before the 10th century in China and Japan, except that he was a legitimate Buddhist monk who tired of the inability of his students to grasp the essence of his teaching. In order to shake them up, he introduced the Zen of Farting, expecting his students to see the joke, laugh at it, and then understand his Buddhist teachings better. Unfortunately, they failed to get the joke--and zen was the result. "
"No one knows much about its author, Reepah Gud Wan, who lived before the 10th century in China and Japan, except that he was a legitimate Buddhist monk who tired of the inability of his students to grasp the essence of his teaching. In order to shake them up, he introduced the Zen of Farting, expecting his students to see the joke, laugh at it, and then understand his Buddhist teachings better. Unfortunately, they failed to get the joke--and zen was the result. "
Old Tractors and the Men Who Love Them
"Anyone who has spent more time than they care to admit in the garage will enjoy noted humorist Roger Welsch's exploration of the do's and don'ts of tractor restoration. He offers invaluable advice and discusses resources, tools, shop equipment, and the relationship that develops between old machines and their owners."
"Anyone who has spent more time than they care to admit in the garage will enjoy noted humorist Roger Welsch's exploration of the do's and don'ts of tractor restoration. He offers invaluable advice and discusses resources, tools, shop equipment, and the relationship that develops between old machines and their owners."
The Stray Shopping Carts of Eastern North America
"Author Julian Montague has created an elaborate classification system of abandoned shopping carts, accompanied by photographic documentation of actual stray cart sightings. These sightings include bucolically littered locations such as the Niagara River Gorge (where many a cart has been pushed to its untimely death) and mundane settings that look suspiciously like a suburb near you."
"Author Julian Montague has created an elaborate classification system of abandoned shopping carts, accompanied by photographic documentation of actual stray cart sightings. These sightings include bucolically littered locations such as the Niagara River Gorge (where many a cart has been pushed to its untimely death) and mundane settings that look suspiciously like a suburb near you."
Pride and Prejudice and Zombies: The Classic Regency Romance
"Features the original text of Jane Austen's beloved novel... with all-new scenes of bone crunching zombie action."
"Features the original text of Jane Austen's beloved novel... with all-new scenes of bone crunching zombie action."
Teddy Bear Cannibal Massacre
"Tim Lieder's anthology is an entertaining trip into the Outer Limits of the Twilight Zone. It is a place where a War Against Clowns is violently waged, a magician is taught magic by a scottish crab, a pretty lycanthrope unleashes her wild side in a London club, and a not so imaginary friend helps a shy young man get the girl. Sadly, there are no cannibal teddy bears to be found in any of the stories. Maybe in the next anthology."
"Tim Lieder's anthology is an entertaining trip into the Outer Limits of the Twilight Zone. It is a place where a War Against Clowns is violently waged, a magician is taught magic by a scottish crab, a pretty lycanthrope unleashes her wild side in a London club, and a not so imaginary friend helps a shy young man get the girl. Sadly, there are no cannibal teddy bears to be found in any of the stories. Maybe in the next anthology."
Greek Rural Postmen and their Cancellation Numbers
"The book looks at the history of Greek stamps in rural parts of the country and how they came to be cancelled by the Greek Postal Service."
"The book looks at the history of Greek stamps in rural parts of the country and how they came to be cancelled by the Greek Postal Service."
Need an explanation?
13 Funniest Police News
"Police receive a report of a newborn infant found in a trash can. Upon investigation, officers discover it was only a burrito."
"Caller reports hitting an intruder in the head with an axe. Notes that intruder 'was in the mirror."
"A man came to the Sheriff's Department to 'find out how to legally kill' a person who was harassing him."
He didn't want to break any laws or anything...
He didn't want to break any laws or anything...
"A caller reported at 7:14pm that someone was on a porch yelling 'help' from a residence on Bank Street. Officers responded and learned the person was calling a cat that was named 'Help.'"
What idiot names his cat 'Help?!' Where's the dog? Fire? Fire!
What idiot names his cat 'Help?!' Where's the dog? Fire? Fire!
"The Learning Center reports a man standing at his window for hours, making parents nervous... Police ID the subject as a cardboard cutout of Arnold Schwarzenegger."
"The ducks refused medical treatment and left the area"
"The man said that he was sitting home alone masturbating (...) when a man came down into the basement, holding a gun, and started to video tape him"
A speedy turtle on a crime spree?
Looking for a trespasser, police enter a building and call out, "Marco..." Police found the suspect when he responded, "Polo"
"Dispatch, report of Swanson chicken pot-pie running east on Clay Street"
If it ain't Swanson's chicken pot-pie, it won't run.
If it ain't Swanson's chicken pot-pie, it won't run.
"was observed in the middle of a roadway wearing only tennis shoes and an adult diaper (...) Neubert was also directing traffic and performing martial arts with a stick"
"a second teen threw a snowball, striking the clerk in the chest"
"Two man came into the store, loaded birthday bags with "Have a nice day" yellow faces on them with 52 tubes of vaginal anti-fungal cream..."
6 Craziest Names
1. James Dr No From Russia with Love Goldfinger Thunderball You Only Live Twice On Her Majesty's Secret Service Diamonds Are Forever Live and Let Die The Man with the Golden Gun The Spy Who Loved Me Moonraker For Your Eyes Only Octopussy A View to a Kill The Living Daylights Licence to Kill Golden Eye Tomorrow Never Dies The World Is Not Enough Die Another Day Casino Royale Bond.
According to the Scotsman, this James Bond fanatic has changed his name to incorporate all 21 Bond films. David Fearn, 23, from Staffordshire is now officially known as "James Dr No From Russia With Love Goldfinger Thunderball You Only Live .[you get the idea] Bond", the longest name in deed poll history. Mr Bond, from Walsall, said: "I wanted to be James Bond and now I am - it's the ultimate fantasy. I can't wait for the first time somebody asks me what my name is."
2.Brfxxccxxmnpcccclllmmnprxvclmnckssqlbb11116.
Brfxxccxxmnpcccclllmmnprxvclmnckssqlbb11116 (pronounced "albin") was a name intended for a Swedish child who was born in 1991. The boy's parents had planned to never legally name him at all, as a protest to the naming law of Sweden.
Because the parents (Elisabeth Hallin and Lasse Diding) failed to register a name by the boy's fifth birthday, a district court in Halmstad, southern Sweden, fined the parents 5,000 kronor (US$682 at the time). Responding to the fine, the parents submitted the 43-character name in May 1996, claiming that it was "a pregnant, expressionistic development that we see as an artistic creation." The parents suggested the name be understood in the spirit of pataphysics. The court rejected the name and upheld the fine. The parents then tried to change the spelling of the name to A (also pronounced "albin") instead. Once again, the court did not approve of the name, this time because of a prohibition on one-letter naming.
Because the parents (Elisabeth Hallin and Lasse Diding) failed to register a name by the boy's fifth birthday, a district court in Halmstad, southern Sweden, fined the parents 5,000 kronor (US$682 at the time). Responding to the fine, the parents submitted the 43-character name in May 1996, claiming that it was "a pregnant, expressionistic development that we see as an artistic creation." The parents suggested the name be understood in the spirit of pataphysics. The court rejected the name and upheld the fine. The parents then tried to change the spelling of the name to A (also pronounced "albin") instead. Once again, the court did not approve of the name, this time because of a prohibition on one-letter naming.
3. John Portsmouth Football Club Westwood.
John Portsmouth Football Club Westwood (born 1963) is one of the most recognisable football fans in England. He decided at school not to follow the trend, common in the televisual age, to follow a successful top-division club. Instead he made a trip to Fratton Park, home of Portsmouth F.C. and was hooked. When he left school he went to work at his father's second-hand bookshop and over time built up a sound grasp of the book trade. Simultaneously, Westwood began to attend ever-increasing numbers of "Pompey" matches. As his commitment grew, so too did his range of Portsmouth F.C themed accessories. In 1994 he changed his name, by deed poll, from J.A. Westwood to J.P.F.C. Westwood.
Despite his large size and deafening exhortations, Westwood is regarded by most fans as a symbol of passionate but non-violent commitment to his chosen team. He was even chosen to be one of the featured people in the BBC's "One Nation" Series.
Despite his large size and deafening exhortations, Westwood is regarded by most fans as a symbol of passionate but non-violent commitment to his chosen team. He was even chosen to be one of the featured people in the BBC's "One Nation" Series.
4. Thursday October Christian.
Thursday October Christian (1790 – 1831) was the first son of Fletcher Christian (leader of the mutiny on the HMAV Bounty) and his Tahitian wife Maimiti. He was conceived on Tahiti, and was the first child born on Pitcairn after the mutineers took refuge on the island. Born on a Thursday in October, he was given his unusual name because Fletcher Christian wanted his son to have "no name that will remind me of England".
Thursday married into his parents' generation. At age 16 he married Teraura (Susannah), who had been Ned Young's original consort, and was past 30 then. The ceremony was carried out with a ring that had belonged to Ned Young.
Thursday married into his parents' generation. At age 16 he married Teraura (Susannah), who had been Ned Young's original consort, and was past 30 then. The ceremony was carried out with a ring that had belonged to Ned Young.
5. Dick Assman.
Dick Assman (1934 - ) is a Saskatchewan petrol station owner whose name propelled him to celebrity status across North America in 1995. Assman, who worked at Petro-Canada's Victoria Square Mall station in Regina, was discovered by David Letterman, who was amused by his name. Assman was lavishly introduced on July 24, 1995, on The Late Show with David Letterman, where he was a nightly feature for about a month. Live field units in Canada interviewed him for the show. Over the weeks, Assman received a musical tribute from Tony Orlando, while Joe Namath declared himself an "Ass-maniac".
Vancouver polling company Angus Reid reported that 49 percent of surveyed Canadians in September 1995 had heard of his name. Assman received a number of contracts for commercial appearances, was asked to run for public office, and received many marriage proposals. Assmania came to a close in August when Assman visited the Ed Sullivan Theater and was presented with a bouquet of roses by Letterman.
Vancouver polling company Angus Reid reported that 49 percent of surveyed Canadians in September 1995 had heard of his name. Assman received a number of contracts for commercial appearances, was asked to run for public office, and received many marriage proposals. Assmania came to a close in August when Assman visited the Ed Sullivan Theater and was presented with a bouquet of roses by Letterman.
6. GoldenPalace.com
On 2005, Terri Iligan, age 33, sold her name on eBay and received an offer. She will be legally named "goldenpalace.com" after the required legal work is complete. The casino owning the website paid $15,199 over the eBay auction service. She said that she got the idea when trying to find how much it would cost to send one of her children to a golf school previously attended by Tiger Woods.
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